I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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