BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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