On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
