Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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