How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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