Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Houston, we have a blender
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
