i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
