I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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