walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize