ya dads aren't the best wingmen
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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