A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
