I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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