Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly

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(631): View more from New York

I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick

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(314): View more from Missouri

I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...

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(+61): View more from Australia

we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.

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(574): View more from Indiana

2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home

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(406): View more from Montana

The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.

Fav 3 1511 1986
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail

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(416): View more from Toronto

The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children

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