WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
