Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
