I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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