this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
