I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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