What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
