It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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