"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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