I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
