sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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