hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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