If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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