yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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