It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
