i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
