Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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