So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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