I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
