Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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