next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
