You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
