ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
