Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
