foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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