Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
handjob tips. give me some.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize