my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
zippers are such a cool invention
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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