office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
