I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
