plz talk dirty to me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Do vagina's smell?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
