Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
