There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
