Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
