I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
sex in a hospital.. check
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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