in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
