Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
