i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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