How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
