Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
