if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
time to smoke my breakfast
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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