This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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