don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
