when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
