scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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