wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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