Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I didn't notice because vodka
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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