and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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