Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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