He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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