Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
